Ya know what? this personal website thing is pretty fucking lame. I just saw this website for this one guy who wants to affiliate with me or something, and it's got everything! On the left and right columns of the website, there are ads for CDs you can buy, links to FREE porno, a membership sign up, a list of affiliates with pretty animated logos, a random image generator -- you name it! And what's the purpose of all this? Well in the center column, there's the NEWS section where the creator of the website updates us about their life and elaborates on important events such as "their crappy weekend." HOLY SHIT WHAT A WASTE OF TIME AND BORROWED SCRIPTS. Alright that's enough out of me. The moral of the story is: Don't expect to have a popular website if you have shit for content, and even if the content is good, don't expect to get a popular website without a little help from a live webcam and a body double.

Two months since the last post (but not since the last update) and I've decided to write something here. Apparently people still look at this site. Hmm... something witty... "girls are pretty and they smell pretty and I have a bracelet." hehe yep... I still got it. Chalk another one up for stuntwill.

Well screw you, too! You update my goddamn site if you think it's so easy. I changed the site to fit a static width (760 - deal with it) because I hated how it looked on computers with unnecessarily high resolution. And since I figure the majority of people who look at my site are computer nerds like me, this shouldn't be a problem. The other changes in appearance are blatantly obvious and not even worth stating. Quote, eh? Funny saying, huh? QUOTE THIS! <-- I'll put a link there sometime hey i need to change the site index to something much simpler. remind me, okay?

Hey, I just thought of a new quote - "Whoever said crime doesn't pay has never chained an ATM machine to a truck and floored it." I like it.

Yay. Two more slutty girl cams. No, I don't have their e-mail addresses. This is where I type things. I went to the doctor today and the girl doctor was foreign and pretty. Was she married? Of course! those foreign people get married at 12-14. And why are so many foreign people doctors? Damn grants and scholarships, that's what! Curse my white skin! Curse it to hell!

fuck you, hippy! I'm ALL ABOUT free love. I was arguing with this fellow on AIM long into the night. I was telling him that the definition of music is organized sound (which is a fact), and he was telling me that music is whatever anyone wants to call music (like "a tree falling" could be music to someone). My only point was that according to the current definition of music, a tree falling cannot be considered music but he still couldn't agree with me. The whole debate left me with an empty feeling. Maybe if I watch the lady walk along the endless pool deck, I'll feel better.

April fools... no one. That reminds me of one episode of the Twilight Zone where these old guys played a prank on their old friend by printing a newspaper with the headline, "THE WORLD ENDS TOMORROW", so this guy decided to do everything he's always wanted to do because he could get away with it. Then for some reason he broke into a toy store late at night (cuz that's what old men really want) and convinced some kid to break in with him. Later on the cops showed up and he couldn't understand why they were upset so they explained to him that the world wasn't ending and the jig was up. BUT -- he was so pissed off that he killed everyone or himself or something. The moral of the story is don't trust anyone, no matter what day it is, because you never know when some jackasses learn stupid shit they get a really big grin on their face and try to make you look stupid. Therefore, the real moral is that you should punch anyone who is grinning for reasons unknown, even if it's a little kid, cuz they can be jackasses too, sometimes.

Today is friday, so like every friday I went to work to get the check and then went straight to the bank. When I left, a truck passed by me looking for a parking space and the guy inside revved his engine and squealed his tires near me. Needless to say, I hopped in my car, drove by him after he parked and squealed my tires as he got out. If any ladies out there have ever wondered how guys think, that sums it up pretty good right there.

I was thinking about something today... another reason why I hate teenagers. Specifically, the pro-anarchy thing. Let's theorize for a second about anarchy. If for some reason, our democratic U.S. government decided to just give up on that and let the people do what they want, what will happen? First it will be chaos, then, as all situations of anarchy go, a tyrannical power will take control by force. And hmm... who's the most powerful tyrannical force in the U.S.?
Well, that would be the U.S. Government. So basically, if the government was as evil as some teenage idiots think it is, it would SUPPORT anarchy because it could just take over again and have even MORE control as a tyrannical government than a democratic one. (actually reading through this again months later... the government has more control as a democracy because the people feel happier and don't even think of revolutions. If the government was a mean tyrannical one, the people would revolt and probably start another democracy, get corrupted, the cycle continues...)

For some reason I feel the need to tell everyone that being completely amoral on the internet perfectly acceptible. It really pisses me off when I see portal entries at newgrounds that are all like, "Everything was impersonated! Copyright to the rightful owners! Please don't sue me for making fun of you!"
I mean, shit. Whatever you make on the internet, someone else has the power to get rid of. SO, make whatever the fuck you want until someone gets pissed off and destroys it. And if they never see it, then good for you. Also, if you make a movie or say something mean or contreversial about a band or celebrity, you would only be at risk if people actually gave a damn about what you had to say. Most likely, you're not a celebrity so they don't give a fuck about what you say because in the grand scheme of things, your opinion isn't worth space it's taking up on the internet. This has been a public service announcement from stuntwill.

After helping a customer during work today, they thanked me by saying, "Thanks, dudester." I was incredibly shocked. How could he have known? It all started senior year in Ecology class. One of our first assignments was to go outside, grab a leaf, glue it on a piece of paper, write a poem next to it, and turn it in. Needless to say, my intelligence was insulted - but I did the assignment. I glued the leaf onto the paper, and next to it, wrote:

"Trees are rad." - Dudester Radman

I didn't turn that one in, however, cuz I'm a pussy who doesn't have the balls to be funny when it really counts. But, my finished product was displayed in the science hallway the entire first semester. Any questions or comments? E-mail me at [email protected].

Once in a while, I visit a website that honestly scares me. The one I'm referring to is www.guffyspace.com. By the way, I work in a city called Waukegan, Illinois. In Mexico, there is a list of recommended cities to live in if you plan on immigrating to the U.S. Waukegan is on this list. Waukegan consists mainly of low-income hispanics and blue-collar white trash assholes. What will that get you? MULLETS GALORE! For great mullets, visit www.mulletsgalore.com.

Hey, buddy! I Just found out that AOL 6.0 gives you 700 hours of free online time! That will last me forever! Hmm... 4 hours a day for one month of 30 days, that's only 120 hours... that's like 5.8 months free! And that's assuming I'll be on every day, which I won't. Wait... what do those tiny words say? For only one month? 700 divided by 30 equals 23.333... So in order for me to take full advantage of 700 hours of free AOL, I'd have to be online for 23 hours a day. Hmm... factor that in with how many times I'll be disconnected, the fact that I must have at least 6 hours of sleep a day, the incredible phone bill because AOL doesn't support cable or DSL connections...

Does AOL suck? Do the math.

I drank about a quart of gatorade before I went to bed. I also visited one of the funniest pages on the web. My highest newgrounds ranking was 48. I still have no idea what makes a page outrank another on the newgrounds fan-net.

It's hard for me to imagine the heads of the Catholic church to be more holy men than a business men. Contrary to Stigmata (1999), I doubt they'd waste their time investigating an oil-stain in some alabama convenience store parking lot that happens to bear a striking resemblance to the virgin mary. More likely, they're spending their time and money tring to figure out how to take over the world.

hey no, I didn't forget about you. No, I'm not as old as I smell. Now sit on my lap and let me tell you a tale... a tale about old people! Here's a hint, grandpa - this fierce moth attack you've been warned about isn't happening any time soon! you've been lied to! Now get out your entire wardrobe and wash all dem brown suits and hats! Oh and 2 words - FUH-BREEZE. That's all.